Fitness

Today I started my rehab at a place called the Total Fitness Women's Centre. It is a wholly un feminine place full of total grunters. they winge and bitch about being fat, tired, having love handles, having kids, husband running away oh how the list goes on........and on.........and on.......

Firtsly Camilla Ignore the urge to say 'you'll get fitter quicker if you stopped talking and got onto the machine and worked for the 2 hours you are there instead of talking.

Secondly Camilla do not give the opinion that your husband probably left you because he was sick of the whoe is me act and took a look at the return on his investment you standing around calling him worse than shit in the vain hope that some sort of association therapy may get you to loose 5 Kg of you Ass!

Thirdly Camilla walk over to the mat stretch off and actually follow the regime you have been given. start from the bottom. Work up from atrophy of the muscles due to coma and breaks and shape those lovely legs.

Afterbeing in the Gym I met up with and went for a run with my friend Søren (that's her in the picture). She is not fitty let me reasure you, she has two kids Jens and Pia and she is let's say a homely woman. She rushes around all day and achieves little more than the ability to say she got no help from her husband Lars. ( Stay awqay from the gym or else you will be divorcing him)

Anyway last year I would carryon running while she went back after 40 minutes to make the coffee instead of watching me lap her....again.....and again........ you get the picture.

Me? I managed about 600m and my legs were not responding, atrophy? oh, that's what it means I have no muscle...

Hi iam trying to book aflight and the web site keeps crashing, it is very frustrating. I want to go somewhere any where.

Hello world. Here I am back from the almost dead. I had a while in a coma due to septisemia one of my pins became infecte and the next thing I know is that I am waking up weeks later wondering why my kitchen had been tiled white, with beds and nurses.

I thank nature for coffee and mans ability to make it strong. Anyway I have been sacked from the religious sleuthing and now am going back to what I do best, warfare.

I am going back to the gym out to the range and on to my job whichwill be in ------------- not gonna tell you. After breaking my legs i have a long hard slog a head but it will be worth it in the long run. I will be using my wits to save my pert ass.

wish me luck or curse me which ever i believe in neither.

Today I started my research, I found out some odd thing which when looked at from a science fact point of view seem a little odd. From a faith point of view which religious people use them probably seem credible because you have to believe.

The Catholic church has a thing called perpetual viginity, which is where the mother of Jesus got pregnant by god. Even though she is supposed to have had two other children she will remain a virgin for all eternity. This is however odd, as does this make the two other sons devine as they were born out of virginity.

There is also the idea that virgin birth was added to Christianity in the first century A.D. in an effort, possibly, to appease the pagans who held virgin birth in high regard. Prior to the 1st Century Virgin birth had been seen in some quarters, greece is one, as a way of hiding promiscurity.

Well I have to start this job tomorrow. I am not sure what my research will bring as I'm not religious at all. I am Agnostic you see.

Apparently Horus was born of a virgin on the 25th December. He died was dead for 3 days and then rose from the dead. What is the reasons for the similarity? Does it happen else where?

One other job aside from this is the idea that the Ark of the covenant was a copy of a similar container buried along with King tutankahmun 300 years before the jews left Egypt.

I think that I am going to enjoy this job, it is not going to pay well though but it will keep me busy while I'm laid up.

Any way I also need to provide help to my neighbour who has to provide a thesis for his theology degree. He has called it 'Old Testament, a history of misuse'.

Why have I got these jobs, I am normally in combat or helping in the effectivness of combat forces whilst maintaining limited national damage.

I also am an unofficial beer critic for all major breweries.

I also look great naked ( even with a plaster cast)

At last the pins are out of my leg. Thank Fuck (pardon my French)! also I am out of the wheel chair and on my crutches.

Also I have been given a new job.......

I am to compare the origins of Jesus with the egyptian god Horus.

Today I have felt empowered, Well as much as you can in a wheel chair. No Skirt ripping incidents today, No sitting in a wheelchair feeling very self conscious because of the slit in her skirt, a slit right up to the waist which by the end of lunch had finished just below the breasts.

Today is about sunshine and green tea, about bagels and cream cheese. I have managed a bit of self help therapy by booting out the flat mate. She was getting tedious. I do not know any 1 week lesbian 2nd week Bi-sexual, by the third week back with the irritating boyfriend Jurgen and finally back to fertvent lesbianism by the fourth. All due to 'He never made me breakfast in bed'.

She had to go she was driving me nuts. Any way she didn't like Scrubs the way I do.

I am Camilla Queen of The Flat.

It would seem that the new vicar at the local church is coming to see me tomorrow. I am not religious to a church going degree, nor am I so inclined to help those who won't be helped. Though I'd happily buy Lars the wino who lives in a box behind my office, breakfast in bed any day. the guy is lovely, he chooses to live that way and respects the fact that I choose my own path in life also.

I remember once sitting on his cardboard porch sharing my macho-frap-o-cino or what ever he had managed to buy for me out of the 50Kr note I gave to him. It was lovely, I was sat in my pin striped skirt and jacket with red cravat (lovely) and he was sat in some old combat trousers and a string vest looking every bit the 57 & 4 months that he is. He didn't need my bleeding heart, it would have made to much mess. Any way he must have enjoyed our chat as he listened and finished the biscuits.

Today I marvel at the sit up bar a friend of mine had brought around for me. It's one of those things that you attach to the bottom of a dorr and it holds your feet while you do sit ups etc. Unfortunately darling my cast does not fit under it still it will lovingly get in the way of the wheel chair as I try and get into the kitchen.

Green tea any one?